


The Day the Music Died

by SchalaDresdan



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Background Victuuri - Freeform, Car Accidents, Deaf Character, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, M/M, Major Character Injury, Music, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal actions, not victuuri bang 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-12-18 13:39:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18250961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SchalaDresdan/pseuds/SchalaDresdan
Summary: ‘Soulmate Music.’ A strange phenomenon that starts when the youngest soulmate turns 18, allowing the soulmates to hear each other’s music. A clue to help them find each other. ‘Hearing’ the music was often celebrated.But Yuri didn’t want a soulmate. It was a distraction that he didn’t have time for. Especially just before the World Championships.Until the day that the music stopped.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> _**Trigger Warning**_ _ ****_ ****: In this story, one of the characters has suicidal thoughts, and tries to act on them (starvation). If this might bother you, please do not read.
> 
> General Notes:
> 
> This piece is for the Not Victuuri Bang. I got to work with two talented artists on this project: Eclair and Cerisebio. Eclair's art is in Chapter 3 and the Epilogue, and Cerisebio's art is in Chapter 6. Please visit their social media pages and tell them how much you liked their art.
> 
> Eclair's [Tumblr](https://eclair.tumblr.com/) and [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/claircolors/)  
> Cerisebio's [Twitter](https://twitter.com/OpaleDeFeuAC) and [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/cerisebio/)
> 
> Story Notes:
> 
> This is a music soulmate AU. In this AU, you can hear the music that your soulmate is listening to/singing/humming in your head (but not their ear worms) after the youngest person turns 18. When you meet the person, the music stops. If you already know your soulmate, the music still plays in your head until you see them after the youngest is 18.

Yuri stormed into the locker room, slamming the heavy door closed behind him. He stomped over to the benches and slammed his bag on the ground. 

Georgi looked up from lacing his skates at the sound of the door slamming shut. His eyes widened in surprise at the look of utter fury on the teen’s face.  _ What’s eating him? I’m used to his moods, but this seems so much worse. _

Georgi said, “I guess this would be a bad time to wish you a happy birthday.”

Yuri growled out, “Shut the fuck up.”

Georgi asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Yuri pulled his skates out of his bag and shoved a foot into one, viciously tightening the laces. He growled out, “Not to you.”

Georgi took a deep breath before trying again. “Yuri, you can’t go out on the ice like this. You’ll hurt yourself.”

Yuri glared at him. “Mind your own damn business, Georgi.”

Georgi sighed as he stood. “Fine. Have it your way. But if you want to talk about it, I’m willing to listen.”

Yuri grabbed his water bottle out of his bag and hurled it at Georgi’s head. Georgi ducked, allowing the bottle to hit the wall behind him.

Yuri grabbed his other skate and shoved his foot into the boot. He fought back tears of frustration as he tightened the laces around his ankle.  _ Does it ever stop? I just feel… like it’s going to drive me crazy. Or that I already am. How do people live like this? _

_ And why does my soulmate have such shitty taste in music? _

Yuri scowled as he checked his laces.  _ I didn’t even want a soulmate. I don’t need this kind of distraction. Not this close to the World Championships. _

_ I can’t let this distract me. _

Yuri shook his head, trying to stop the incessant dance beat playing in his head. He huffed in frustration as he stomped his way out to the ice.  _ I can work out my frustration on the ice. I can’t believe that I have to put up with this bullshit… _

A small, but firm, hand in the middle of his chest stopped him in his tracks. Lilia’s strict voice said, “You are not stepping out on the ice today. Not when you are like this. Yakov, I am taking Yuri to the studio.”

Yakov opened his mouth to protest, but took one look at Lilia and changed his mind. “Run him through his footwork. It’s been getting sloppy again.”

Lilia nodded curtly. She said sharply, “Skates off. You will be in the studio in 10 minutes, warming up.”

Yuri ground out, “Yes, Madam.”  _ Fuck, this was the last thing I needed. I need to practice. _

Yuri stomped back to the locker room, still fuming.  _ I can’t believe this! First, this fucking ‘soulmate music’ that won’t seem to stop. Then, Madam Baranovskaya makes me practice fucking ballet instead of getting on the ice. This is the worst day of my life… _

***

Yuri stormed through the door of the studio. Lilia lifted an eyebrow in disapproval at the angry teen. She gestured towards the barre. “Come, we will work on your flexibility.”

Yuri grit out, “Yes, Madam.”  _ There’s nothing wrong with my fucking flexibility. There’s something wrong in my head. It won’t stop. I can’t seem to concentrate… _

Yuri threw himself into the familiar exercises. Lilia watched, a look of slight disapproval on her stern features.

She clapped her hands crisply. Yuri stopped his stretches and asked, “Yes, Madam?”

“Your short program. Show it to me.”

Yuri sighed, barely keeping the irritation out of his voice as he replied, “Yes, Madam.”

He tried to clear his mind, to feel the start of the music. Yuri held the opening pose for a long moment, willing his mind to calm, to be able to hear the music that he knew by heart.

Yuri sighed in frustration as he started the routine.  _ It’s no use. I can’t ‘hear’ the music over this shit. Why? Why did this have to happen to me? And why now? Could things possibly get any worse… _

The thought had barely formed before he felt his ankle roll. Yuri felt a moment of panic as his body began its uncontrolled crash to the hard wooden floor of the studio.

And then he felt nothing at all as his head collided with the barre.

***

Yuri woke to a sharp pain in his head, echoed by an even stronger pain in his ankle. He bit his lip to avoid screaming, or even worse, crying.  _ What happened? I remember I was dancing. And then… _

_...Oh, shit… _

_ I rolled my ankle, didn’t I. Shit, shit, shit! _

_ No, please don’t tell me… _

Yuri heard a gentle voice next to his head. “Yuri, are you awake?”

_ Oh, great. It’s Katsudon. Just what I needed. That probably means that Victor is witness to my hot mess, too. _

Yuri groaned out, “How bad is it?”

Yuuri hesitated.

“Dammit, just tell me!”

Yuuri sighed. “Well, we think it may be broken…”

Yuri could feel the distinct prickle of tears trying to force their way out from behind his eyes.  _ No, I was so close! I qualified for the World Championships. This can’t be happening… It’s not fair… _

The music in his head started again. He balled his hands into fists so tightly that he could feel his nails bite into his palm.  _ And it is all because of this! I  _ **_hate_ ** _ this! I don’t even want a soulmate… _

A few tears made their way down Yuri’s face. He could hear Katsudon’s worried voice say, “Yuri, it will be okay. It might not be broken. We’ll take you to the doctor and get it checked out.”

Yuri hissed out, “Even if it  _ is _ just a bad sprain, there is  _ no way _ it will heal in time for me to compete in the World Championships.”

Victor’s voice came from down around Yuri’s feet. “He’s right. This injury is a season ender for him, even if it’s not broken.”

Yuri laid his arm across his eyes to hide the tears.  _ I didn’t want my season to end like this… _

***

Otabek scowled slightly. Ravil, his rinkmate, noticed and skated over to him. “What’s eating you?”

Otabek said, “The music started today.”

Ravil clapped Otabek hard on the back, nearly sending him off balance. “That’s great, man. So, why the long face.”

Otabek shrugged. “My soulmate’s choice in music is… questionable.”

“Some would say the same for yours. You listen to an awful lot of dance music.”

Otabek scoffed. “You do know that I DJ, right? Listening to dance music, and making my own mixes, comes with the territory.”

Ravil laughed. “I know. But your soulmate doesn’t. I bet you are driving her crazy.”

Otabek shrugged. “Maybe. But they aren’t any better. Right now, they are listening to… Russian Emo music?”

Ravil asked, “That exists?”

“I guess so…”

“Wow, that is just… bizarre.”

Otabek sighed. “You have no idea.”  _ It’s a bit distracting, to be honest. It will take some getting used to, hearing songs in my head that I’ve never heard before. _

_ But at least now I have a clue. I have a way to try to find my soulmate. _

_ I wonder who they are? _

***

Yuri scowled at the heavy medical boot encasing his foot. His foot was currently resting on a pillow, slightly elevated off of the couch. Yuri sat with his back against the arm of the couch. He huffed, moving the bangs away from his face momentarily. 

_ At least it was a clean break. It won’t need surgery. But the doctor thinks I’ll have to spend at least two months in this thing, and then at least one more in a brace before I can get back to training normally. Fuck. _

_ Happy fucking birthday to me… _

A notice popped up on his phone, temporarily silencing the loud, angry music playing. He glanced down and saw that it was a text from Otabek.

_ Happy 18th birthday, Yuri. _

Yuri sighed.  _ I can’t really be mad at him… It’s not his fault that I got distracted and hurt myself. Hell, I rolled my ankle. That could have, and probably would have, happened even if I wasn’t distracted. And he is my only friend… _

Yuri unlocked his phone and tapped a quick message.

_ Thanks. I have some bad  _  
_ news about the WC’s. _  
_ Don’t tell anyone, Yakov _  
_ hasn’t made it public yet. _  
_ But… I’m injured…_

_ What happened? _

_ I broke my ankle… _

Yuri waited for Otabek to respond. The three dots showing that Otabek was typing seemed to stay there forever.  _ Either he is writing a book, or he doesn’t know what to say… _

The response, when it came, was surprisingly short.

_ Surgery? _

_ No _

Yuri could almost hear Otabek’s sigh of relief over the texted reply.

_At least there’s that…_  
_I’m sorry, man. I was_  
_looking forward to_  
_seeing you at the WC’s._  
_And beating you this time._

_Hah, in your dreams,_  
_Altin!_

There was a pause before Otabek typed out a response.

_Make sure you do what_  
_the doctors tell you. So_  
_you’ll heal properly._

_ Yes, mom. _

Yuri regretted the quick response as soon as it was sent.  _ I didn’t mean that. He’s trying to help… _

_Sorry, I’ve just…_  
_had a bad day._

_ You just broke it today? _

A few tears forced their way down Yuri’s cheeks. He used the heel of his palm to wipe them away from his face. Potya, curled up on the couch next to him, mewed her distress. She gently lifted a paw, touching his leg as if asking permission to come up. He pulled the fluffy cat into his chest, burying his face in her fur.

His phone pinged with a new message. Yuri allowed Potya to settle on his lap as he scrubbed the tears from his eyes. He glanced at the message.

_ Yuri? _

_Sorry, I got_  
_distracted._

_Are you going to_  
_be okay?_

Yuri sighed. **_Am_** _I going to be okay? I don’t know…_ He stared at the phone screen until it went dark. _I better tell him something, or he’ll start to worry again._ Yuri absently scratched the top of Potya’s head as he typed out a reply with his other hand.

_Yes. I’m just mad._  
_My ankle hurts_  
_like Hell, and I’m_  
_mad about the_  
_WC’s. I’ll be ok._

_You can always_  
_talk to me if you_  
_need someone to_  
_listen. Just text me._

_Hey, Otabek? Have_  
_you ever been_  
_injured? Like, end_  
_the season kind of_  
_injured?_

_Yea, once. When I_  
_was still in juniors._

_ What happened? _

_I hit the ice hard trying_  
_a new jump. Fucked_  
_up my knee._

_ Surgery? _

_No, just a lot of PT._  
_Yuri, you’re going to_  
_be fine. Just let it heal._

_Thanks. I think_  
_that’s what I_  
_needed to hear._

Yuri sighed as he pushed the home button on his phone, exiting the texting app.  _ After talking with Otabek, I feel a little calmer.  _ His hand moved slowly through Potya’s fur, feeling her vibrate with the force of her purring.

_ I’m sure he’s right. I just have to let it heal. It fucking sucks that I can’t even  _ **_go_ ** _ to the World Championships. The doctor said he didn’t think travel was a good idea, if it could be avoided. Something about the strain that the changes in pressure would exert on my ankle…? _

Yuri could feel his eyelids start to get heavy.  _ Those pain pills must be kicking in. I probably should go lie down, but… _

_ I’m just so comfortable like this… _

Yuri’s hand stilled as his head tilted to rest on the back of the couch, and he drifted into a light sleep.

***

Otabek sighed.  _ Poor Yuri. It seems that he had a really rough birthday. I was looking forward to hanging out with him at the World Championships. We always have such a good time together. _

He rested his head on the back of the couch and stared at the ceiling of his apartment. The song in his head changed. His eyes widened in surprise.  _ I know this song. Yuri likes it… _

_ … No, it’s just a coincidence. Right? We’ve been friends for years. If he was interested in something more, surely he would have said so? _

_ I couldn’t possibly be that lucky. _

_ Plus, if his music started today, wouldn’t he have told me?  _ He sighed.  _ But then again, I didn’t tell him that mine started. I was going to, until he told me about his injury. _

Otabek groaned in frustration.  _ This is all just speculation. I have no way to know for sure. And I don’t want to ask him. I guess I’ll just have to wait until I go to see him this summer. Then I’ll be able to find out, one way or another. _

Otabek smirked. “I thought that hearing the music was supposed to make things easier. So why is it that it seems to have made my life so damn complicated? I wish there was a way for me to find out for sure if my soulmate really  _ is  _ Yuri, or not. But unfortunately…”

“I guess that I’ll just have to wait until I finally get to see him again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Yuri. He was working really hard, and then to get injured before the World Championships... 
> 
> And now Otabek and Yuri will have to wait until summer to see each other again.


	2. Chapter 2

A Week Later

Yuri looked up at the sound of a key turning in the lock of his apartment door. He scowled.  _ Victor or Yuuri? Or will I be really fucking lucky, and end up with both of them? They’ve been hovering over me like mother hens ever since… _

As the door opened behind him, Yuri growled out, “Who is it?”

Yuuri’s voice said, “It’s me. Victor had a photo shoot this afternoon, so I thought I would come over. We could play some video games? Then I’ll make you some dinner?”

Yuri scoffed. “I’m not an invalid, you know.”

Yuuri said slowly, “No… but you hate to cook. Don’t try to deny it.”

Yuri snapped his mouth shut.

Yuuri continued, “If left to your own devices, I have no doubt that you would be ordering takeout every night, until your ankle heals.”

Yuri stuck out his tongue. “I order takeout anyway. Cause cooking is a pain in the ass.”

Yuuri sighed. “Then let me cook for you. I actually enjoy it.”

Yuri crossed his arms. “Fine. Knock yourself out.”

Yuuri’s eyes softened slightly. “Yuri… you seemed upset even before the accident… Is something else bothering you?”

The music in Yuri’s head changed. It was a song that he heard often, and had actually grown a little fond of. It had a strong, steady beat and the melody was fast and complex.  _ I wish I knew what it was, so I could download it and listen to it when  _ **_I_ ** _ want… _

Yuri asked, “How did you do it?”

Yuuri replied, “Hmm? How did I do what?”

“How did you listen to Victor’s shitty music in your head for 5 years without going insane?”

Yuuri’s eyes grew wide in realization. “Yuri, was that what happened? Is that why you fell?”

Yuri nodded slowly. “It started that morning. And my soulmate has terrible taste.”

“Do you want to talk about it? Maybe we can figure out who it is?”

“I don’t really have a lot to go on.”

Yuuri asked, “Why? Do they not listen to music often?”

“Actually, they listen to music almost all of the damn time. But, most of it is instrumental. Like dance music.”

Yuuri sighed. “That unfortunate. I had hoped we could use the lyrics to narrow down the search.”

Yuri groused out, “Me too.”

Yuuri rested his finger on his cheek. “It started on your birthday, so we know that they are older than you. Any other clues?”

Yuri shook his head. “No…”

“No singing, or humming?”

Yuri closed his eyes. “Is that really a thing?”

Yuuri nodded. “Yes, you can really hear it if they sing or hum.”  

Yuuri paused for a moment. “I have a confession to make. Promise that you won’t tell Victor?”

Yuri said, “Like I would tell him anything, if I could help it.”

“I… knew my soulmate was Victor. Long before we met. He sings in the shower.”

Yuri yelled,  _ “HUH!”  _ He cleared his throat and asked, “If you  _ knew _ it was Victor, why did you wait for  _ five years _ ?”

Yuuri shrugged. “I… it’s complicated?”

Yuri scoffed. “Dumbass.”  _ It’s none of my business. I’m sure it made sense to him at the time. But if I knew who it was, at least I could get the music to stop… _

“No, I haven’t heard any. Not yet. Or at least I don’t think so.”

_ I haven’t heard any shitty singing. So either they don’t sing, or… they are really fucking good. Good enough that I thought it was a professional recording. _

_ But that’s not fucking likely. _

Yuuri clicked his tongue. “Well, That’s disappointing. But some people just aren’t… as attuned to music?”

Yuuri shrugged. “I’m sure that you’ll find them. And for the music, you eventually get used to it. Honestly, I miss it sometimes.”

Yuri nodded.  _ It’s still fucking annoying. But, I can do this. If Katsudon managed it for five years, I can deal with it, too. _

Yuri accepted a game controller from Yuuri as Yuuri settled himself on the far side of the couch past Yuri’s foot.  _ He was lucky, in a way. At least he knew who his soulmate was. I literally have no clue… _

***

Otabek sighed as he stopped roughly at the boards. Ravil handed him his water bottle. Otabek took it gratefully, taking a long drink. “Thank you.”

Ravil asked, “You seem distracted today. More Russian Emo?”

Otabek shook his head. “No, this music is odd. Like it is from a movie or something. But it’s almost like it’s on a loop. It never stops.”

Ravil rested a finger on his lips as he thought. “Hmm, maybe your soulmate likes soundtracks? And she has a certain song she likes?”

Otabek shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m still as clueless as I was a week ago.”

Ravil clapped Otabek on the shoulder. “Try not to worry about it too much. You have the World Championships to worry about. That is going to be a tough field to beat this year. I’m actually kind of relieved that I didn’t qualify.”

Otabek grumbled, “Thanks for reminding me.”

Ravil said, “Oh, did you hear? Coach Feltsman had a press conference yesterday. He announced that Yuri Plisetsky was injured and was pulling out of the World’s.”

Ravil asked, “Isn’t that great? One of your biggest competitors…”

Otabek took a breath in and let out, slowly. He clenched his hands into fists, and clenched his jaw tightly. Ravil watched, surprise evident on his face, as Otabek pushed himself away from the boards. Otabek picked up speed quickly as he moved across the ice.  _ I need some distance from him, before I say something that I’ll regret. Or lay him out… _

_ Even if Yuri wasn’t my friend, how could he  _ **_ever_ ** _ think that I would wish harm on  _ **_any_ ** _ of my fellow competitors. I want to win because of what I can do, not because the other skaters fall, or hurt themselves. _

Otabek launched himself into a quadruple axel. His hand touched the ice as he came down.  _ Shit. I can do better than that. I just need to calm down. _

_ Maybe I should stick to triples until I do. Hurting myself won’t do anyone any good. _

***

Otabek closed the door of his apartment behind him. He set down his gear bag near the door as he slid his feet out of his shoes. Then Otabek started to pace back and forth across his living room.

_ How could he make such a callous comment. It is no secret that Yuri and I are friends. We’ve been friends ever since the Barcelona Grand Prix Final. So… why? _

_ And why is it still bothering me? _

Otabek pulled out his phone, tapping the home button. There was a message from Yuri, time stamped a few hours earlier.

_Katsudon came over_  
_for video games and_  
_dinner. Annoying. How’s_  
_your day going?_

Otabek sighed.  _ At least someone is taking care of him. And making sure that he eats. _

Otabek paused his pacing.  _ Should I tell Yuri what happened? It might make me feel a little better to talk about it with someone. _

_One of my rinkmates_  
_is a real dick._

_Which one? And_  
_what did he do?_

_Ravil. He implied that_  
_I should be happy_  
_that you got hurt._  
_Less competition_  
_at the WC’s._

_That loser that you_  
_beat out at Nationals_  
_by like 50 points?_  
_Can I punch him?_  
_In the dick?_

Otabek smirked.  _ Now that is the type of reaction that I expected from Yuri. Talking to him was definitely the right call. _

_I may just do it for you._  
_I’m still pretty pissed._

There was a pause. Otabek watched the texting dots appear and then disappear several times before Yuri sent a new message.

_ Are you ok? _

_I feel like I should be_  
_asking you that. Not_  
_the other way around._

_Yea, but you don’t_  
_normally get pissed._

_Well, people don’t_  
_normally imply that_  
_I should be happy_  
_that one of my only_  
_friends got hurt._

Otabek sighed as he sank onto the couch. He let his head fall back to rest on the back of the couch. Otabek pulled off his socks and studied his feet. He sighed.  _ I should have gotten the first aid supplies out of the bathroom before I sat down. My feet are shredded. Probably from all of those jumps I ran through after Ravil said that… _

His phone pinged. Otabek unlocked it, and read Yuri’s new message.

_He sounds like an_  
_asshat. Don’t let him_  
_rattle your cage._

Otabek smiled. _I knew that somehow he would be able to talk me out of this funk._ _I still want to punch Ravil for what he said, but I think I’ll have calmed down by the time I see him tomorrow._

_He is. Thanks for_  
_listening to me rant_  
_about him. I needed_  
_to talk to someone._

_ No prob. I understand _

_about annoying rink_  
_mates. Remember that_  
_I share the rink with_  
_Georgi, Victor, and Katsuki._

Otabek chuckled.

_They can’t be that_  
_bad._

_Georgi is such a drama_  
_king when it comes to_  
_his relationships. Did I_  
_tell you? Turns out that_  
_Anya isn’t his soulmate._  
_She just pretended to_  
_be, cause she thought_  
_it was funny._

Otabek sat straight up.  **_What?_ ** _ How could anyone be so cruel…? _

_She what!?!_  
_Who does that?_  
_And how?_

_Georgi’s music stopped_  
_when he met Anya. He_  
_thought she was his_  
_soulmate. But it turns out_  
_that she still heard her_  
_music the whole time._  
_It was someone else._  
_And now he is looking_  
_for her._

_I hope that he finds_  
_her. After Anya, he_  
_deserves happiness._

_ Yea _

_ How’s Georgi holding up? _

_Pretty good, all considered._  
_He thinks he might know_  
_who the girl is. Someone_  
_else he met on the the_  
_same day he met Anya._

_ Tell him I said good lick _

_ Hahaha _

_Damn, that was_  
_supposed to be_  
_good luck._

_ I’m fucking dying… _

_Like you’ve never_  
_texted a typo_

_ Not one that funny _

Otabek smirked.  _ I guess it  _ **_is_ ** _ pretty funny. _

_Shit. Katsudon’s back._  
_Dinner time. Talk later?_

_ Sure _

Otabek smiled.  _ Talking to Yuri helped immensely. Ravil’s still an ass, but at least now I don’t feel like I’ll lay him out next time I see him. _

Otabek connected his phone to his bluetooth speaker and opened his music app. He picked his newest mix, hitting the random button. Music filled the apartment as he walked into the kitchen to prepare a late dinner.

_ I need my head to be clear so that I can get ready for the World Championships. He may be an ass, but Ravil was right about one thing. This is going to be a tough year. If I want to break the top five, I’ll have to work my ass off. And hope for the best. _

***

Yuuri asked, “Who were you texting?”

Yuri growled, “None of your fucking business.”

Yuuri sighed as he set the bowl down in front of Yuri. “Okay, you don’t have to tell me. I was just curious. You were smiling, you know.”

“Well, the music stopped for a minute.” He frowned. “Unfortunately, it’s back now.”

Yuuri settled onto the end of the couch. “I know it’s hard to bear right now, but I promise, once it’s gone, you’ll miss it. Enjoy it while you can.”

Yuri rolled his eyes. “I’m sure that I’ll miss listening to shitty dance music all of the time.”

“You will. Everyone does. At least, everyone that hears it for very long.”

“You’re just sentimental.”

Yuuri shrugged as he picked up a piece of pork with his chopsticks “Maybe.”

Yuri huffed as he picked up the bowl of katsudon that Yuuri had set down for him. “Are you supposed to have this during the season, Piggy?”

Yuuri smiled mischievously. “You’ve been kind of down since your injury last week. I thought you might like a little treat. We’ll just… neglect to tell Victor, okay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Georgi... seriously, who does that?
> 
> And Chapter 3 starts the angst...


	3. Chapter 3

A month later

Otabek frowned as he landed a quad flip.  _ My hand came down again. I need this jump in my repertoire this year. Otherwise, I’ll never win at the World’s. _

Otabek skated over to the boards and grabbed his water bottle. As he took a drink, he thought,  _ I don’t have the grace that the other skaters have, so I have to make it up with my jumps…I have to practice more, land harder jumps. Otherwise… _

_ I may never make it to the top of the podium… _

Otabek picked up his phone which had been sitting on the boards. There was a message from Yuri.

_Went to the doctor_  
_today. He said it’s_  
_healing well._

_That’s great news._  
_Still another month_  
_in the boot, right?_

_Yes, then I’ll have to_  
_wear a brace for a_  
_month._

_It will be over_  
_before you know it_

_ Thanks, Otabek. _

_No problem. I_  
_better get back to_  
_practice now, before_  
_my coach catches_  
_me slacking._

_ Ok, ttyl. _

***

Otabek smiled as he revved up his bike. He pulled out of the parking lot and into the street. Traffic was unusually thick for that time of day. Otabek maneuvered his bike down the busy street with practiced ease. He stopped, his bike idling at a red light.  _ I should probably stop at the store and pick up something to cook for dinner… Oh my God... _

A tanker truck careened through the light, colliding into several cars heading in the opposite direction. Otabek watched in horror, the sound of crunching metal filling his ears. The truck screeched to a stop. Over the motors of the cars around him, and the noise of his own bike, Otabek could hear screaming from the vehicles in front of him.

The acrid smell of gasoline reached his nose.  _ If one of those cars catches, all of those people will die… I have to help them… _

Several nearby motorists jumped into action, rushing out of still idling cars. Otabek left his bike and ran towards the mangled mess of vehicles. The smell of gasoline was growing stronger by the moment. All of a sudden, there was a massive explosion. Otabek was flung backwards by the blast, his body awash with pain. And then he felt nothing.

***

Victor let himself into Yuri’s apartment. As he walked in, he asked carefully, “Yurio?”

The teen growled from the couch, “That is  _ not _ my name, old man!”

Victor sighed.  _ I wonder if he has heard yet? _

“Yuri, have you seen any news today?”

Yuri twisted his body to scowl at Victor. “I’m not old, like you. I don’t read the news.”

Victor walked further into the apartment. He sat down gingerly on the couch, near Yuri’s feet. He cleared his throat. “There’s something that you should hear, then. Your friend, Otabek Altin…”

Yuri sat straight up. “What about Otabek? What happened?”

Victor said, “There was an accident…”

Yuri asked, “But he’s okay, right?”  _ He has to be okay. I just talked with him this morning! _

Victor shook his head. “They don’t know yet. Yakov spoke with his coach earlier, so we know some details that the media isn’t privy to, yet.”

Victor took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Otabek was riding his motorcycle home today. There was a car accident, followed by an explosion. The fatality count is at 15, and is expected to rise.”

Yuri could feel tears slipping down his face. His voice was scared and quiet as he asked, “He’s not dead, is he?”

Victor looked at Yuri. “No. He’s not dead. He was trying to help, according to witnesses. The blast sent him flying back and he hit his head. Luckily he was still wearing his helmet. But he’s still unconscious. And he has a myriad of other injuries. The doctors aren’t sure when, or if, he’ll be able to skate again. Or if he’ll even wake up.”

Yuri’s mind went blank. All he could hear was a loud rushing sound. It took him a minute to realize that it was the sound of his own blood rushing in his ears. He could see Victor’s mouth moving, but he couldn’t hear him.  _ Otabek… might never wake up? No, this can’t be happening. I just… I just talked with him this morning! About stupid stuff. This can’t be the end, can it? _

“… Yuri?”

Yuri snapped out of his thoughts, the sound of Victor’s voice finally making it through the noise in his own head. Yuri shook his head. He announced, “I’m going to see him.”

“Yuri, I don’t think…”

Yuri snapped, “I don’t care what you think. He’s my friend, and I am going to go see him!”

Yuri swung his leg off of the couch, the medical boot landing on the floor with a heavy thud. Yuri winced at the jolt of pain that stabbed through his ankle at the impact.  _ Oh. I forgot… _

Victor said softly, “I was just going to say, I don’t think you can. It is too far for you to drive, and flying with that injury is a bad idea.”

Frustrated, Yuri yelled, “Then what am I supposed to do?”

Victor shook his head. “There’s nothing that you can do. I’m sorry, Yuri.”

Yuri could feel tears start to gather at the corner of his eyes. He said, “Please, just leave. I think I need to be alone for a while.”

Victor nodded. “Call if you need anything. Okay?”

Yuri nodded.  _ I feel numb. Like this is all happening to someone else… _

Victor stood up and squeezed Yuri’s shoulder as he walked past. “We’ll all hope for the best. That is all we can do. He could be fine.”

Yuri’s eyes burned with the tears he refused to let Victor see.  _ But what if he isn’t? What if the last thing I said to him really  _ **_is_ ** _ the last thing that I’ll ever say to him? _

Victor walked to the door, glancing over his shoulder at the miserable teen sitting on the couch.  _ It’s better that he finds out like this. It would have been worse if he had seen it on social media. At least this way… he has a chance to process it on his own terms. _

Victor sighed as he opened the door and let himself out. As soon as Yuri heard the door close behind him, he buried his head in his arms. The tears he had held back flowed freely from his eyes.  _ Otabek. Please be okay. You have to be okay. _

_ … I’m sorry that I can’t be there for you… _

***

A Few Days Later

Otabek opened his eyes. He immediately regretted the decision as the light in the room pierced his skull. He groaned.  _ God, my head hurts. Scratch that, my whole body hurts. What happened? _

He carefully glanced around the room.  _ I’m… in a hospital? Why… oh. I remember now. The accident. There was an explosion. I guess I got knocked out. I wonder for how long? _

Otabek moved his head slightly. Now he could see the chair next to the bed. His mother was asleep in the chair, her face a mask of concern even in her sleep.

Otabek’s heart wrenched.  _ She looks exhausted. How long have I been out? Long enough to be brought here and admitted to a room. And for her to fall asleep despite her worry.  _

He reached out towards her and croaked out, “Mom?”

He started.  _ Is my voice gone? I know that I said it, but I didn’t hear anything… _

His mother woke with a start. Her eyes went wide. She moved from the chair and carefully took his hand. Her mouth moved, but Otabek couldn’t hear anything that she said. All he heard was silence.

_ I can’t hear anything… Am I… Deaf…? _

_ What the Hell happened to me? _

He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. His mother was still talking to him. He interrupted her, “Mom, I can’t hear you. I can’t hear anything…”

Her hands went to her mouth. Tears came to her eyes as she nodded. She walked slowly to a small whiteboard mounted to the wall. She picked up the marker and wrote out, _ ‘The doctor said that this was a possibility. I’ll go tell the nurses that you’re awake.’ _

Otabek asked, “How long was I out?”

She wrote,  _ ‘Three days.’ _

Otabek sighed.  _ I must have hit my head hard. If I had not been wearing my helmet, I would likely be dead. So, was it the blow to the head, or something else, that caused this? _

_ Will I ever be able to hear again? _

***

The doctor sighed. He was writing furiously on his clipboard. As he wrote, he spoke slowly.  _ He’s probably hoping that I can read lips. But I’ve never been good at that.  _

The doctor took the clipboard and handed it to Otabek. The note said, ‘ _ You hit your head, which lead to a coma. Your left forearm is broken, and you cracked two ribs on that side. Try not to move too much so that they can heal. The right side of your face and neck were burned, but the burns are not severe and should not scar.’ _

Otabek handed back the clipboard and hesitated.  _ I have to ask, but I’m afraid to know… _

“What about my hearing? Why can’t I hear anything?”

The doctor nodded. He quickly wrote on his clipboard and handed it back to Otabek. ‘ _ Your ears were damaged by the explosion. Right now, there is no way to know if you’ll recover your hearing or not.’ _

Otabek nodded. A tear fell down his cheek as he thought,  _ I guess… I just need to accept the fact that this might be my life from this point on. A silent world… _

He sighed heavily as the doctor turned away and spoke rapidly with his mother.  _ That’s the end of my DJing days. I can’t very well mix new music if I can’t hear it. And I admit, I’ll miss that. But more than that… _

_ … Will I be able to skate again? Is it possible to skate… without hearing the music? _

***

Yuri’s apartment was quiet, the only sounds coming from Yuri’s phone as he scrolled through his social media.  _ Maybe I should turn on some music or something. No, my stupid soulmate usually listens to something around this time of day. If I turned on something, I would only have to turn it off in a few minutes… _

_ Wait, when was the last time that I heard their music? _

Yuri went completely still, his body going cold with dread.  _ Have I heard any music today? I… I don’t think so…? What about yesterday? _

He wracked his brain, trying to remember the last time that he had music playing in his head.  _ I can’t remember. It’s been at least a few days… _

_ Have I met anyone?  _ Yuri shook his head slightly.  _ No, the last place that I went was to the doctor the other day, and I definitely heard music on the way home that day. I’ve been holed up here ever since, eating Katsudon’s leftovers. _

Yuri felt like there was a vice around his chest, slowly pressing tighter and tighter. It was getting harder to breathe. Yuri’s eyes filled with tears.  _ Is my soulmate… dead…? _

_ No. There is no fucking way, right? But what other explanation is there? _

Yuri crossed his arms around his stomach, in an attempt to hold himself together.  _ It’s… it’s not fucking fair… I only heard the music for a month. How was I supposed to find them in a month? And now it is already too late? _

Tears fell from Yuri’s eyes unchecked. Heart wrenching sobs wracked through his body. Potya jumped onto Yuri and gently touched his chest with her paw. He hugged Potya close to him, crying into her soft fur.

_ My soulmate is dead… _

_ How can I continue to live without them?   _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, no. Poor Otabek... And poor Yuri...
> 
> Eclair did the art in this chapter. If you have a chance, go to her [Tumblr](https://eclair.tumblr.com/) and [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/claircolors/)  
> and tell her how fantastic her art is [(direct link to art on Eclair's Tumblr)](https://eclair.tumblr.com/post/183736276591/this-artwork-is-for-chapter-3-of-schaladresdans).


	4. Chapter 4

Later That Day

The apartment was dim, the only light coming in through the closed curtains. Melancholic music played softly in the background. Yuri’s knees were pulled tight into his chest. Yuri had his hood pulled up over his head, his head resting on his legs. Dried tear tracks lined his face.

The door opened. Yuri didn’t even look up. _Go away. I don’t want to see anyone._

Victor’s voice called out, “Yuri?”

Yuri groaned quietly. “Go away, Victor.”

He heard the door close quietly and the quiet shuffle of feet as Victor moved closer to the couch. Yuri clenched his teeth. _Can’t you fucking tell that I don’t want you here? Go the fuck away!_

Victor asked quietly, “Yuri? What happened?”

Before Yuri could answer, Yuuri’s voice said quietly, “He may not want to talk about it, Vitya.”

Yuri felt tears prick at the back of his eyes. _Great, they’re both here. I can’t. I just can’t._

Yuri sniffled quietly, unable to keep his tears at bay. A sob worked its way out of his chest, opening the floodgates of his emotions. As his body shook with sobbing, he felt a hand grasp his shoulder, squeezing it gently. Yuri grabbed the hand, holding onto it like a lifeline. An arm worked its way across his shoulder pulling him gently into someone’s chest.

Victor’s voice seemed to come from far away as it said gently. “It’s okay, Yurochka. I’ve got you. It will be okay.”

The words tumbled out of Yuri’s mouth unbidden as his body wracked with the force of his sobbing. “No… you don’t understand…” _It won’t ever be okay. Never again._

Victor said quietly, “Then tell me.”

Yuri’s chest heaved as he took in a shaky breath. “The music… it stopped…”

Victor’s mind worked furiously. _The music stopped? I didn’t even know that his music had started! Wait, does that mean…?_

Victor’s thoughts were interrupted by Yuri’s next words. His voice was barely a whisper, as if he was afraid that voicing the thought would make it real. “My soulmate is dead…”

Victor shook his head as he pulled Yuri in tighter to his chest. “You don’t know that for sure, Yurochka. Maybe…”

Yuri cried out, “Yes, I do! I haven’t met fucking _anyone_! It is the only possible explanation.”

Yuri looked up at Victor, tears in his eyes. _Please, tell me that I’m wrong…_

Victor sighed. _What do I tell him? What_ **_can_ ** _I tell him? He’s probably right, unfortunately. It sounds like his soulmate is dead…_

Victor felt tears falling from his eyes at the thought. He looked back at Yuuri, who was standing in shock with tears falling down his face. Victor cleared his throat. “Go pack a bag for Yuri? And see if you can get the cat into her carrier? They are going to stay with us for a while.”

Yuuri nodded. He walked into the bedroom, leaving Victor and Yuri alone in the living room.

Yuri muttered, “I don’t want to go to your place.”

“I know.”

“Then why are you making me go?”

Victor gently squeezed Yuri’s shoulder. “Because I think it is what you need right now.” _Because I’m afraid of what might happen if we leave you by yourself right now._

_And I don’t want to lose you._

***

A Few Days Later

Otabek stared at the ceiling. _I’m so bored…_   _My head still hurts, and it is hard to concentrate on anything for very long. The subtitles on television are beyond me with this massive headache. I can’t really see all that clearly anyway. The doctor mentioned that I might need glasses?_

He sighed. _Just another thing that I have to look forward to. As if it wasn’t bad enough._

Otabek looked over to the chair beside the bed. His older brother, Alexey, was sitting in it, reading something on his tablet. _He finally convinced Mom to go home for a while. She needs some rest…_

Otabek cleared his throat. “Alexey, do you know where my phone is?”

Alexey looked up from his tablet. He quirked an eyebrow in question as he quickly typed something on his tablet. He turned the tablet towards Otabek. It read, _“Why do you want your phone?”_

Otabek sighed. _That’s a fair question. I can’t very well make a call like this…_

He replied, “I thought that I could check my text messages, and my social media accounts. Has to be better than staring at the ceiling…”

Alexey nodded. He typed out on his tablet, _“Okay. But the doctor warned you about straining your eyes too much. So an hour max, okay?”_

Otabek rolled his eyes. “Fine.” _If I argue with him, he won’t let me use it at all. And I know that I have to have a lot of missed messages._

Alexey set his tablet down near the foot of the bed before rising from the chair. He walked over to the nightstand next to the bed and pulled open the drawer. Alexey reached inside and pulled out Otabek’s phone. Otabek groaned slightly when he saw it.

_It’s a mess. I guess it got broken in the accident, too…_

The protective cover that had been on his phone was gone. The screen was cracked, and there were scorch marks on the back. Otabek looked up at Alexey and asked, “Does it even still work?”

Alexey shrugged. He handed the phone to Otabek. _I guess there’s only one way to find out. Even if it does, I’ll have to think about a new one before long._

Otabek hit the home button on his phone. He sighed in relief as the screen lit up. He unlocked the phone, careful not to cut himself on the broken screen. _What should I check first? I guess I’ll start with my texts. Social media can wait until later._

He opened his text messages. As he expected, it had been bombarded with dozens of texts, from friends, colleagues, and competitors. He scrolled down, checking the names of the senders. _Looks like I have a lot of messages to catch up on. That could easily take up the entire hour. I’ll start from the bottom and work my way up..._

A text near the bottom of the list caught his eye. It had been sent on the day of the accident. Otabek opened the conversation with Yuri to see a single line:

_Call me._

Otabek shook his head. _I wish that I could. I would love to hear his voice. I’m going to have to tell him… What is he going to think?_

Otabek took a deep breath and typed out slowly:

_Can we text instead?_

***

Yuri’s phone vibrated, briefly lighting up the darkness of the bedroom. Yuri was sitting on the bed, the hood of his jacket pulled over his head. His knees were pulled up into his chest, and his head was buried in his arms resting on his knees. The soft sound of the vibrating phone caused Yuri to look up, blinking at the sudden light. He rubbed his eyes, trying to get them to focus. He groaned quietly. _It’s probably Victor or Katsudon, trying to get me to come out and talk to them._

He looked at his phone screen and saw the text notification from Otabek:

_Can we text instead?_

Yuri picked up his phone slowly and stared at the message in disbelief. _Seriously? He was out for how long and he doesn’t even want to talk to me? Why doesn’t he want to talk to me?_

Yuri huffed as he typed his reply:

 _Don’t be an asshole._  
_I just want to talk to you._  
_Make sure that you’re ok._

 _I can’t talk._  
_Not like that._  
_I’m sorry._

Yuri frowned. _What the Hell? What does he mean that he can’t talk?_ He furiously typed his next message. _I’m going to get to the bottom of this. I_ **_need_ ** _to talk to him._

 _Why? Were you_  
_hurt that bad?_

_It’s bad, Yuri._

Yuri inhaled sharply. _Just how bad is bad? He’s making this sound pretty serious. But then again, it has been almost a week since the accident, and he is just now texting me? We’re like, best friends. Maybe it_ **_is_ ** _bad…_

Yuri’s hands shook slightly as he typed out the reply:

_Tell me._

_Are you sure?_

_Just tell me, asshole._

_I have some broken bones._  
_A concussion, it knocked_  
_me out for a few days._  
_Some burns, too._

 _None of that explains why_  
_you can’t call me._

Yuri waited as the three dots appeared and disappeared. _What is taking him so long? It didn’t take this long for him to write out that long-ass message before. What is it that he’s not telling me…_

_I’m deaf._

_WHAT!?!_

Yuri typed out the response without thought. _He… he can’t be serious, right? It’s a joke of some sort. But Otabek wouldn’t joke about something like this. Hell, he barely jokes at all. God, if this is true…_

Yuri’s thoughts were interrupted when his phone vibrated with a new message:

 _The accident damaged_  
_my ears. We don’t know_  
_if it is permanent or not._

_Fuck…_

Yuri took a deep, steadying breath. _I’m an ass. I am such an ass. I was so worried about my own damn problem that I didn’t stop to think that he might really be hurt. What the Hell is wrong with me? I am a terrible friend._

 _Now I get why you wanted_  
_to text instead of calling._  
_I feel like an ass for_  
_insisting that you call._

 _You didn’t know._  
_There was no way_  
_that you could have_  
_known._

Yuri laughed, a mirthless sound. _Otabek is the one that’s deaf, and he’s trying to make me feel better? That’s typical._

Yuri felt hot tears slip down his face. _I can’t tell him about the music. Not now. He doesn’t need my problems dumped on top of his own…_

 _Tell me if there_  
_is anything that_  
_I can do. I mean_  
_it, okay?_

 _Thanks. I don’t think_  
_there is much that_  
_anyone can do, right_  
_now. I just have to_  
_hope that maybe it_  
_isn’t permanent._

Yuri nodded in agreement as he wiped the tears from his face. _God, I hope it isn’t permanent. This could be the end of his career. And I know that he loves DJing. Not much chance of that if his hearing is gone…_

He clenched his hands into fists. _He was trying to help, and this is what he gets? Why?_

_It’s not fair._

_I know. But I’ll_  
_deal with it. It_  
_will be okay._

Yuri scowled. _How can he be so damn calm about it?_ He shook his head. _No, I bet he isn’t. That, or he already has had time to come to terms with it. He’s so damn stoic that sometimes it is hard to read him. If I could have talked to him, or seen him, I could judge it better._

Yuri thumped the top of his medical boot with his fist. _If it wasn’t for this stupid thing, I would have already been in Almaty. I hate that I can’t see him. I feel like maybe, right now, we need each other._

***

Otabek sighed as he leaned his head back against the pillows. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He could feel the pressure of unshed tears behind his eyes. _God, that was harder than I thought it was going to be._

His phone vibrated in his hand. Otabek opened his eyes and sat up, bringing the screen closer to his face.

 _I’m sorry that I can’t_  
_be there. Doc said I_  
_can’t travel until I’m_  
_out of the boot._

_It’s okay._

Tears started to fall from Otabek’s eyes as he sent the lie to Yuri. He let the phone fall from limp fingers as he fell back against the pillows. He covered his eyes with his arm, trying to stop the tears from falling. _I really wish that he_ **_could_ ** _come, but at the same time I don’t want him to see me like this. And if my guess is true…_

_If we really are soulmates…_

_Yuri deserves to be with someone that isn’t broken._

Otabek started when a hand touched his arm. He moved it and saw Alexey standing over him, holding his tablet towards Otabek. It read, _“Want to talk about it?”_

Otabek asked, “Huh?”

Alexey sighed. He spoke, and as he did, words appeared on the screen he still held up in front of Otabek’s face. _“I don’t know who you were talking to, but it is obvious that you are upset. I’ll listen, if you want to talk about it.”_

Otabek nodded carefully. “I was talking to Yuri. I told him…”

Alexey closed his eyes for a moment. _“You told him about the accident, about your injuries? How did he take it?”_

“Better than I expected. It was just… really hard to tell him.”

_“Why? He’s your friend, right?”_

Otabek sighed. “I told you about the music. How it started about a month ago? It was Yuri’s birthday. And I think… that Yuri might be my soulmate. He deserves better…”

Alexey flicked Otabek gently on the shoulder. _“You’re an idiot, little brother. If you are soulmates, there is no one better for him than you. You’ll see.”_

_“I think that is enough phone time for you today. You need to rest.”_

Otabek sighed, but did not protest when Alexey picked up the phone. _He’s right. And there isn’t anyone else that I wanted to talk to anyway._

***

Yuri’s phone chimed.

_It’s okay._

Yuri growled in frustration and threw his phone violently at the wall. He grabbed a pillow and screamed into it, trying to muffle the sound. _It’s not fair. He’s the one that is hurt. He’s not supposed to comfort me. Could this week get any worse?_

There was a soft knock at the bedroom door. _Obviously, it can…_

Yuuri’s voice was muffled through the door. “Yuri? Are you okay? Can I come in?”

Yuri scowled. _I guess I should let him. At least he asked. Victor would have just barged in._

“Fine.”

The door opened slowly, allowing light in as Yuuri pushed his way into the room. He bent down and picked up Yuri’s phone off the floor. “I guess this explains the loud thunk I heard? What happened?”

Yuri muttered, “I finally got a hold of Otabek.”

Yuuri walked to the bed and sat down gingerly on the edge, facing Yuri. He handed the phone back to Yuri as he asked, “He’s awake? That’s good. I know you were worried about him.”

“He’s deaf.”

Yuuri hissed in a breath. “Is it…?”

Yuri shook his head. “They don’t know if it is permanent or not.”

Yuuri sighed. “So is that the worst injury? Or…?”

“No, that’s the worst one.” _As if it isn’t bad enough._

“That must be rough for him. Music was important to him, right? I mean, not only because of skating. He DJed too, right?”

Yuri nodded. “And yet, he is acting like everything is okay.” He felt tears falling down his cheeks. _How can he act like everything is okay? It’s not okay…_

_And it may never be okay again._

Yuuri asked gently, “Is there anything that I can do?”

Yuri shook his head. “No, I think I just want to be alone for a while.”

Yuuri nodded as he stood. “Dinner will be ready in an hour or so.”

“I’m not hungry.”

Yuuri walked towards the door. “Okay, let me know if you change your mind. Remember, we’re here for you, Yuri.” _So please, let us help you._

Yuri nodded dejectedly. _Right now, I just need to be alone. I need… I need to figure things out. I need for the world to make sense again…_

He didn’t even notice when the door closed quietly as Yuuri left the room.

***

Victor was chopping up vegetables for dinner when Yuuri walked in. Victor looked up, noticing the distressed look on Yuuri’s face. “What was that about?”

Yuuri shook his head as he leaned up against the counter. “Yuri finally got in contact with Otabek.”

Victor raised an eyebrow in question. “And?”

“Otabek was hurt worse than we thought. The good news is that he’s awake. The bad news is that he’s deaf.”

Victor hissed in a breath. “Poor kid.”

Yuuri nodded. “But I was thinking…”

Victor put down the knife, looking up at Yuuri in askance. “What?”

“What if Otabek is Yuri’s soulmate?”

Victor gasped in realization. “They have been such good friends, ever since Barcelona. It would also explain why the music stopped. He can’t _hear_ any music!”

Yuuri nodded. “Exactly.”

Victor tapped his chin with his finger. “Should we tell him?”

“What if we’re wrong?”

Victor covered his face with his hand. “You’re right. That would be awful.”

“It would be like losing his soulmate twice…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this was the hardest chapter to write. It definitely took longer than any of the others. These poor miserable boys. But at least Yuri has Victor and Yuuri, and Otabek has his brother.


	5. Chapter 5

A Few Days Later

The room was dark. Yuri sat on the bed, his shoulders hunched over. He absently ran his fingers through Potya’s fur. She purred loudly, a counter rhythm to the melancholic music playing softly from Yuri’s phone. Dried tear marks lined Yuri’s face.

He heard a soft knock on the door.  _ Just… leave me alone. I don’t… I can’t… _

The door slowly opened. Mila stuck her head in and sucked in a breath.  _ God, it is worse than I thought. Yuri, why? Why would you let yourself get like this? _

Mila stepped into the room, closing the door partly behind her. “Yuri, they sent me in here to get you for dinner. Georgi is over, too. Come and eat with us?”

Yuri turned his head away from Mila. He muttered, “I’m not hungry.”

Mila sighed. “Please, Yuri. You need to eat.”

“Why? What’s the point?”

Mila sat down on the bed. She reached out tentatively and touched Yuri’s shoulder. “Yuri, please. We’re worried about you…”

Yuri’s voice came out as a sob. “I don’t want to be here anymore…”

Mila started.  _ What does he mean by that? Does he not want to be here, at Victor and Yuuri’s, or does he mean… Surely he doesn’t mean that he wants to… _

Mila felt a tear fall down her face. She cleared her throat. “Okay, Yuri. What if I brought some dinner in here for you? Would you eat something then?”

Yuri shook his head.

Mila squeezed his shoulder gently. “If you change your mind, let me know. Things  _ will _ get better. Just give it some time, okay?”

Yuri took in a shaky breath.  _ Things are not going to get better. Things only seem to get worse and worse. And I just can’t… _

_ I just can’t deal with it anymore. _

***

Mila slowly walked out of the bedroom and shut the door gently. She walked back to the living room. The others looked up expectantly. Mila shrugged dejectedly. “I couldn’t convince him to come out. I’m sorry…”

Yuuri shook his head. “It’s not your fault. I’ve tried everything that I could think of. So has Victor. It’s like he just wants to disappear.”

Mila’s breath hitched as Yuuri voiced what she had been thinking. “It’s so much worse than I could have imagined. I’ve known Yuri ever since we were little kids. Ever since he first came to train with Yakov. And I have  _ never _ seen him like this. He seems so despondent.”  

Victor sighed. “I thought I was doing the right thing when I made him come stay with us…”

Yuuri laid his hand gently on Victor’s shoulder. “We did what we thought was best.”

Mila walked over to a chair and sank into it. “What are we going to do? We have to do something, right? Otherwise…”

Georgi added quietly, “Otherwise we might lose him.”

Mila nodded. Tears fell down her cheeks.  _ He’s like a little brother to me. I can’t imagine my life without him. I have to do something. But what can I do? _

_ I’m afraid that none of us are enough to make him stay. _

Mila pulled her phone out of her pocket. Georgi quirked an eyebrow. “What are you thinking?”

Mila shrugged. “It’s a long shot, but… None of us have been able to reach Yuri. I thought maybe…”

“Maybe we can ask Otabek to help?”

***

Alexey opened the door to his apartment, holding it open as Otabek walked through.  _ He’s treating me like an invalid. I can open the door for myself. He’s going to be insufferable… _

_ But it is better than staying at Mom and Dad’s. Mom would baby me all of the time, and I would never actually get better. And they won’t let me stay at my place, alone. _

Otabek sighed, wincing slightly at the pain in his ribs. His broken arm was resting in a sling. He walked slowly towards the couch, careful not to jar his injuries, as Alexey shut the door. Otabek sat down gingerly. Alexey sat down next to him, setting his messenger bag down on the floor beside him. He pulled his tablet out of the bag and unlocked it. Alexey turned on the voice recognition and turned the screen towards Otabek.

Alexey said,  _ “The doctor today seemed to be hopeful. He said that your ears seem to be healing, and you might get your hearing back.” _

Otabek hummed and then replied, “But I might not. I should prepare myself for the worst.”

Alexey sighed,  _ “Or you could hope for the best. I think that you have had enough bad news lately. Why can’t you accept some good news for a change?” _

Otabek frowned.  _ Because after all that has happened, I’m afraid to hope. I’m afraid of what else might happen. _

Alexey continued,  _ “I have a list of things the doctor said that you needed to do, and other things that he said you should avoid. If there is anything I can do to help, I will. You know that.” _

Otabek nodded as he pushed his glasses back up his nose.  _ These damn things keep sliding down. I guess it should be expected of hospital issued glasses. I’ll have to see about getting a better pair later. _

_ If it wasn’t bad enough that I lost my hearing. I can’t believe that the accident fucked up my eyesight, too. This has got to be some kind of cruel joke. _

Alexey tapped Otabek gently on the arm to get his attention, pointing to the words on the screen.  _ “Tomorrow we can go get you a new phone. And anything else that you want to do. I took my vacation time, so I could stay with you for a bit.” _

“You didn’t have to do that. I can take care of myself…”

Alexey shook his head.  _ “I want to help you. Stop being so stubborn.” _

Otabek nodded. “Thanks, Alexey.”

Alexey grinned.  _ “Anything for my baby brother. I’m going to go fix us some lunch. You just get some rest, okay?” _

Alexey set the tablet on the coffee table. As he stood, he gently ruffled Otabek’s hair. Otabek grimaced in response. “You’re insufferable.”

Alexey grinned wider as he turned to head to the kitchen.

Otabek leaned back against the cushions of the couch.  _ It feels good to finally be out of the hospital. But now, everything seems so final. Like this is as good as it gets. _

Otabek closed his eyes. He tried to ignore the music playing in his head and he thought about his options.  _ Of course I know that DJing is out. I’ve accepted that. But I think I might still be able to skate, with the right coach and the right accommodations. Nothing against the rules, of course. _

_ Like maybe if my coach could give me a visual cue to start, instead of having to rely on music. I think that I could… I want to at least try. _

Otabek felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.  _ That was just one short vibration. A text message. I guess I should check it. _

He pulled his battered and broken phone out of his pocket, hitting the home button to display his notifications. The text was from an unknown number:

_This is Mila Babicheva._  
_Yuri’s friend. I need to_  
_talk to you. It is really_  
_important._

Otabek frowned as he unlocked his phone.  _ Mila? Why would she want to talk to me? I’ve only met her a few times, and I never really talked to her much… _

He typed out a quick response:

_Mila, what do_  
_you need?_

_Yuri is not going_  
_to be happy that_  
_I told you this. But_  
_we don’t know what_  
_else to do. We’ve tried_  
_everything._

_Yuri thinks his_  
_soulmate is dead._

Otabek nearly dropped his phone in shock.  _ What? He thinks his soulmate is dead? _

_ Why? _

_His music stopped. A_  
_little over a week ago._  
_But he didn’t meet_  
_anyone new. So he_  
_assumed the worst._  
_And now, we’re afraid_  
_that we are going to_  
_lose him._

Otabek felt like someone had dumped cold water on him.  _ Lose him? Does she mean that Yuri might kill himself? He wouldn’t, would he? _

_Are you saying that_  
_Yuri might hurt himself?_

_No, I don’t think so._  
_But he isn’t eating._  
_And he’s been shut_  
_up in the guest bedroom_  
_at Victor’s for about a week._

Otabek closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the couch.  _ So they don’t think that he would actively kill himself. But he doesn’t want to live… Yuri, haven’t you figured it out? Your music stopped around the same time as my accident. I guess we really are soulmates… _

_ I’m sorry, Yuri. I should have told you. I hope it is not too late… _

_I have an idea._  
_I’ll talk to him, but_  
_give me a few days._  
_I need to talk to him_  
_in person. Don’t tell_  
_him that I’m coming._

_Okay, I won’t tell_  
_him. But it’s bad._  
_Whatever you have_  
_planned, you need_  
_to hurry._

_ I will. _

Otabek looked up from his phone. “Alexey! I need to go to Saint Petersburg.”

Alexey walked back into the living room, a look of confusion on his face. He picked up his tablet.  _ “The doctor said that you can’t fly, that the change in pressure could permanently damage your ears. Remember? And it would take days otherwise. What is so important?” _

“Yuri thinks his soulmate is dead. And I think that he might kill himself.”

Alexey’s face turned pale.  _ “God… You’re right. We have to get you to Saint Petersburg. As quickly as possible. Let me do a little research. I’ll take care of it.” _

Otabek nodded as Alexey sat down, furiously typing away on his tablet.  _ How did I miss this? I should have noticed, right? All of the music that has played in my head since I woke has been so dark, so not like Yuri. And then there is the fact that he hasn’t messaged me since I told him… _

_ I should have noticed something! I’m a terrible soulmate. I can’t believe that I was so self-centered that I didn’t notice how much he was hurting. _

Otabek forced himself to take a deep breath and let it out slowly.  _ There is nothing that I can do about the past. I just need to get to him as quickly as I can. I need to see him. Hopefully I’m right, and we are soulmates. _

_ Otherwise, I might lose my best friend. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuri is in bad shape... But it looks like Otabek has it figured out. As long as he can get there in time...


	6. Chapter 6

Later That Evening

Otabek opened the door to the train compartment. He glanced inside and took in the meager space. The beds were currently folded up. Two seats on either side of the small aisle took up a majority of the compartment. It was currently unoccupied.  _ I guess I shouldn’t be too disappointed. I was lucky that Alexey was even able to get me on this train at all. _

_ Alexey has really been great about all of this. I don’t know how I’m going to repay him. _

Otabek stepped into the room. Alexey stepped in next, pulling two suitcases behind him. He had his messenger bag over his shoulder. He set the messenger bag down on one of the seats before he knelt down to push the suitcases underneath. He stood, sighing in relief as he sat on the uncomfortable seat next to his bag.

Otabek said, “You didn’t have to come with me.”

Alexey quirked an eyebrow. He pulled his tablet out of his messenger bag and unlocked it. Alexey turned on the voice recognition feature as he spoke, holding the tablet so that Otabek could read it.  _ “I couldn’t let you come by yourself. Not with everything…” _

Otabek cut him off. “I can travel by myself. I am not a child.”

_ “I know. But you are still hurt, and you’re not used to…”  _ Alexey stopped talking for a moment, as if he was unsure what to say.

“You can say it. I’m not used to being deaf.”

Alexey nodded.

Otabek sighed as he felt the train start to pull away from the station. “Well, I guess it’s too late now. Move your bag so I can sit down.”

Alexey picked up the bag and set it on the floor. Otabek sat down, resting his head back against the wall of the compartment.

“How long will it take for us to get there again?”

Alexey tapped on Otabek’s shoulder and held up four fingers. Otabek groaned. “Four days?”

Alexey nodded.  _ “Just nearly. You’re lucky that I was able to book the direct train to St. Petersburg. Otherwise, with the layovers, it would have taken much longer than that.” _

“I’ve grown so accustomed to flying everywhere that I forgot how long it takes to travel by other means. I just hope…”

Alexey shook his head.  _ “No, there is no use in worrying about it now. We are getting to Saint Petersburg as quickly as we can. I’m sure that everything will be fine. And Yuri’s friend, Mila, is going to meet us at the station, right?” _

Otabek nodded. “I’m supposed to text her our arrival time once we know. Since I’ve never been to Victor’s place, she’ll take me over to see Yuri.”

Alexey nodded.  _ “Good. Let me know when you’re ready to sleep. I’ll pull the beds down, okay?” _

Otabek nodded.  _ I’m not sure that I’ll be able to sleep. It is going to be a long four days… _

***

The Next Day

The room was dark and quiet. Yuri was slumped over on the bed, his knees pulled awkwardly into his chest. Potya was curled up near his head, purring softly in her sleep.

_ It hurts. _

Yuri felt tears slip down his cheeks.  _ God, it hurts. _

The door slowly opened. Yuri didn’t bother to look up. He heard Yuuri’s voice as if from far away. “Yuri? You didn’t eat anything. Are you sure that you’re not hungry?”

Yuri nodded weakly.

“Let me know if you change your mind. Okay?”

Yuri made a small noise of affirmation. Yuuri took the untouched tray and walked out of the guest room, closing the door softly behind him. He sighed deeply, trying to fight against the tightness he felt in his chest as he carried the tray back to the kitchen. Victor looked up from the couch as Yuuri walked past. Victor asked softly, “Still nothing?”

Yuuri shook his head slowly. “I’ve tried everything. I made him his favorite foods. I even went out and bought his favorite pastries. I don’t know what else to do…”

Victor sighed. “None of us do. We’ve all tried, but we can’t make Yuri eat.”

Yuuri slammed the tray down forcefully on the counter, rattling the plates. “Damn it, it’s not fair! Why can’t we do anything for him?”

Tears fell from Yuuri’s eyes as he sank to his knees on the floor. His chest heaved with sobs as he cried, the feelings of frustration and helplessness finally too much to bear. Yuuri felt Victor’s arms gather him close. Victor rested his head on Yuuri’s as he pulled Yuuri in tight to his chest. Tears fell from Victor’s eyes as he held Yuuri.  _ He’s afraid. Honestly, so am I. Yuri has been like a little brother to me, ever since he was first brought to train with Yakov all of those years ago. It kills me that he is in such pain. And if something doesn’t change, I think that we might lose him. _

***

The Following Day

Otabek groaned as the train pulled to a stop. Alexey gathered their bags and nodded, indicating that Otabek should leave the compartment first.  _ This is the first of our two transfers. I think he said that we had about two hours here before the next train leaves? Maybe we’ll have time to get a shower and some food? I would love to have something that isn’t packaged. _

Alexey followed Otabek off of the train. Otabek stopped momentarily, attempting to get his bearings in the busy station.  _ Where are we again? _

He caught sight of a sign nearby. He squinted to see the writing without his glasses.  _ Oh, that’s right. We’re in Kazan. We crossed into Russia some time ago. _

Alexey passed Otabek, gently nudging him with his shoulder as he walked past. Otabek took the cue to follow him.  _ I’m sure that Alexey has this layover planned out to the minute. I’ll just follow along. I don’t really want to think anyway. _

The music was becoming less frequent as the days past. When he did hear music, it was mournful, echoing the pain that his soulmate was going through.  _ What am I going to do if Yuri isn’t my soulmate? No, I can’t think like that. _

_ If Yuri isn’t my soulmate, then I might lose both my soulmate and my best friend. I’m not sure that I could survive that. _

Alexey stopped, causing Otabek to bump into him. He winced as the impact sent jolts of pain through his body. He hissed in a breath.  _ This trip has been really hard. I’ve barely slept at all, since the jostling motion of the train jars my ribs. But, if it means that I can save Yuri, all of this pain will be worth it. _

_ Two more days. And then I can finally see Yuri. _

_ *** _

Two Days Later

Mila waited near the entrance to the train station, scanning the crowd as the people passed by. It didn’t take long for her to find Otabek.  _ God… He looks rough. I knew he was hurt, but I didn’t expect him to look  _ **_this_ ** _ bad. _

She waved her arm over her head to get Otabek’s attention as she yelled, “Otabek!”

A man walking beside Otabek turned to look at Mila. He tapped Otabek on the shoulder, pointing in her direction when Otabek turned to look. They made their way through the crowd towards her.

_ Oh, I forgot… they told me that Otabek had lost his hearing. Of course he wouldn’t hear me. _

The men stopped in front of Mila. Up close, Mila could see the exhaustion on Otabek’s face.  _ It looks like he hasn’t slept in days… _

Otabek fished his phone out of his pocket. He unlocked his phone as he said. “Mila, thanks for coming. How is he?”

Mila shook her head. “It’s not good. He’s not eating… We’ve run out of ideas. Hopefully you can get through to him.”

Mila watched as Otabek read her response off of his phone.  _ He’s using a voice recognition app to transcribe what I said. That’s really smart… _

Otabek nodded. “I hope so, too.” He scrubbed his hand down his face.  _ I’m so tired. I barely slept at all during the trip. But I need to see him. I just feel like I wouldn’t be able to rest if I don’t. _

Otabek motioned towards his brother. “Mila, this is my brother, Alexey. Alexey, this is Mila Babicheva.”

Alexey said, “Thank you for coming to meet us. You’re taking us to go to see Yuri, right?”

Mila nodded. “Yes, my car is parked just down the block. Follow me.”

Alexey nodded and said a quick “Thank you” as Mila turned to leave the busy station.

Otabek followed Mila out of the station.  _ I feel so nervous about seeing Yuri. If we  _ **_are_ ** _ soulmates, then things will be okay. _

_ But if I’m wrong, if we aren’t, then I don’t know what I’ll do. _

***

Otabek took a deep breath before knocking softly at the door.  _ The music playing right now is so mournful, as if my soulmate truly believes that nothing will ever be okay ever again. God, please let me be right. Please let the music stop once I see him… _

He opened the door slowly. The room beyond was dark. He waited for a moment in the doorway for his eyes to adjust to the low light. He sucked in a breath.

Yuri was laying on his side on the bed, his knees pulled in awkwardly to his chest. Yuri’s hair was messy and greasy. His clothes looked like he had slept in them for days. Yuri’s face was pallid and drawn, his eyes were dull. Otabek approached the bed slowly.  _ It’s even worse than I could have imagined… He looks so defeated… _

Otabek asked quietly, “Yura?”

Yuri blinked, his eyes focusing on the person in front of him. He sat up slowly, pushing himself up with his arms like he couldn’t support himself otherwise. “Beka?”

The music in Otabek’s head stopped abruptly. He let out a sigh of relief.  _ He’s my soulmate. It’s going to be okay now… _

“What are you doing here?”

Otabek read Yuri’s question off of his phone screen. “Mila texted me.”

Yuri’s eyes went wide. His breath hitched painfully as his eyes filled with tears. Otabek scrambled onto the bed as quickly as he could and awkwardly gathered Yuri close with his good arm. Yuri wrapped his arms tightly around Otabek and buried his face into Otabek’s chest. Otabek winced in pain as Yuri’s arms tightened around him.

Otabek held Yuri close, rubbing small circles on his back with his hand. A few tears worked their way down Otabek’s face.  _ My poor Yura. I’m so sorry that it took so long. I can’t imagine how much you were hurting. _

Yuri cried until his chest hurt from the effort, his eyes sore from his own tears. He took a tentative breath as he pulled slightly away. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to dump this on you. I just… I can’t…”

Otabek glanced down at his phone sitting on the bed next to him, reading the text off of the screen. “You can’t what?”

Yuri’s eyes filled with tears again. “I can’t live without my soulmate.”

Otabek started. “What?”

“Didn’t Mila tell you? My soulmate is… dead…”

“I’m not dead, Yura. I’m just deaf.”

Yuri’s face contorted in confusion. “What?”

Otabek took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m your soulmate.”

“I don’t believe you.”  _ I can’t believe you. This is a trick, something that Victor came up with to try to ‘shake me out of it’. _

Otabek reached out and gently wiped the tears from Yuri’s eyes. He searched Yuri’s face. It was lined with confusion and doubt.  _ What can I do to convince him of the truth? I have to come up with something… _

His face lit up as an idea hit him. Otabek grabbed his phone and opened his music app. He searched quickly for his last mix. Otabek made sure that the volume was turned up before he hit play.

Dance music filled the room. Yuri’s eyes widened in surprise. “I know this song…”  _ My soulmate listened to it. I could never figure out what it was… _

Otabek said absently, “It was the last song I mixed before the accident. No one else has ever heard it.”

“You really  _ are _ my soulmate…”

Yuri wrapped his arms around Otabek, causing Otabek to grunt in pain as he fell backwards onto the bed. Yuri clung to him desperately, his eyes squeezed shut. Otabek pulled him closer, holding him tight as tears coursed down his face. He felt dampness on his shirt as Yuri started to cry anew. “It’s okay, Yura. I’m here now. I’m sorry that it took so long.”

Otabek held Yuri tight to his chest, comforting him until they both passed out, emotionally and physically exhausted.

***

Yuuri carefully opened the door and peeked in.  _ They’ve been quiet for a long time… _

He smiled as he saw the two figures on the bed. Otabek was sleeping on his back, his arm still in its sling. His other arm was around Yuri. Yuri was curled up next to Otabek, with his head resting on Otabek’s chest.

Yuuri walked in quietly. He took a blanket that was near the foot of the bed and used it to cover them.  _ They’re exhausted. They both have been through so much in the last few weeks. I just hope that they will be okay now. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! Hopefully things will be okay now. 
> 
> Cerisebio made the art for this chapter. If you have a chance, go tell her how wonderful her art is on her [Twitter](https://twitter.com/OpaleDeFeuAC) or [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/cerisebio/). Here is a direct [link](https://twitter.com/OpaleDeFeuAC/status/1110947364364304385) to the art.


	7. Chapter 7

The Next Day

The first thing that Yuri was aware of was the fact that there was another person in bed with him. _What the Hell? Who…?_

Yuri went still as the events of the previous day rushed back to him. _Otabek. He came. And..._

_He’s my soulmate… Beka figured it out. Why didn’t I?_

Yuri kept his eyes closed and concentrated on the sound of Otabek’s steady breathing.

_My soulmate is alive._

Yuri slowly opened his eyes, wincing as he realized how sore they still were from the day before. In the dim light, he struggled to see Otabek’s sleeping form. He reached up and brushed Otabek’s hair back from his forehead. Otabek slept on, his forehead furrowed in pain.

Yuri squeezed his eyes shut, trying to fight off the tears that threatened to fall. _I’m so selfish. He’s in so much pain, and yet he traveled all of this way just because of me. Because I thought my soulmate was dead, and I couldn’t handle it. I can’t imagine how much it hurt him._

_Why didn’t I think of taking the train to Almaty after the accident? When he needed me?_

Yuri pushed himself up into a sitting position, using his arms to brace himself. _I feel so weak, and gross… When was the last time that I ate something? Or took a shower?_

_My soulmate is alive, but I almost…_

_I think… that I owe everyone an apology. Especially Beka._

Yuri groaned softly as he fumbled for his phone sitting on the nightstand. He picked it up and hit the home button, starting slightly when he saw the time. _It’s 14:00? I thought it was the middle of the night or something…_

_It’s so quiet outside. I wonder if anyone is home?_ Yuri shrugged slightly. _If they are, I can probably get Katsudon to make me some food._

Yuri unlocked his phone and opened his text conversation with Yuuri. He typed a short message:

_Are you home?_

The response was nearly instantaneous:

_Yes, did you need_  
_something?_

_Could I get_  
_something to eat?_

_Of course!_

Yuri heard the sound of a door opening down the hall, followed by the sound of hurried footsteps moving to the kitchen. Yuri sighed, his body sagging in exhaustion. _I want to go back to sleep, honestly. I feel like I could sleep for a week. But first, food. And then, a shower? If I think I can stand up that long._

_Fuck, right now I don’t think I could._

Yuri scooted back to the headboard, propping himself up into a sitting position. He put his hand on Otabek’s shoulder and gently shook it. “Otabek, wake up. Katsudon’s making us some food.”

Otabek started awake. He grimaced, the pain evident on his face. _Damn, I feel bad about waking him. But I had to, right?_

Otabek opened his eyes slowly. _Where am I? I don’t recognize this room..._

Yuri leaned over Otabek, a slight smile on his lips.

_Yuri. I’m in Saint Petersburg with Yuri. Everything is going to be all right…_

Otabek reached up, caressing Yuri’s cheek with the pad of his thumb. “Good morning.”

Yuri scoffed. “More like good afternoon.”

Otabek frowned slightly. “I can’t hear you.”

_But he was talking to me just fine last night… How did he?_

Yuri’s eyes widened as he remembered. _His phone. I need to find Otabek’s phone. He was using it to read what I said to him._

Yuri reached over and turned on the lamp sitting on the nightstand, filling the room with soft light. _I know that he laid it on the bed last night. It has to be here somewhere…_

Yuri searched the bed, finally finding the phone nearby, buried under the blankets. He held up the device triumphantly. _Now he can use this to ‘hear’ what I say._   

His face fell as he took a good look at the phone in his hands. _Fuck. It’s as busted as its owner… I’ve chunked my phone at the wall a thousand times, and I’ve never broken one this badly._

Otabek moved to sit up, groaning as the motion jarred his ribs. He hissed in pain, forcing himself to move against the headboard. He huffed out a small, humorless laugh when he noticed Yuri’s face. “It’s in bad shape. It was in the accident too.”

Yuri nodded soberly. He held out the phone towards Otabek. As he dropped it into Otabek’s hand, Yuri mumbled, “Here.”

Otabek quickly unlocked his phone and found the voice recognition app. He scowled. _I’ll need to charge my phone soon, especially since this app uses a lot of battery life. I should have plugged it in last night._

He looked up at Yuri. “You were trying to tell me something?”

“Yea. I didn’t want to wake you, but Katsudon is making us some food.”

Otabek looked down at his phone, reading the text there. “I probably needed to wake up, anyway. I’m not really supposed to sleep flat on my back.”

Yuri asked, “Why not?”

“The doctor told me to sleep propped up because of my broken ribs…”

“ _What the fuck?!?_ You didn’t tell me that your ribs were broken!” _If I had known that, I would have been more careful. Hell, I would have at least tried. Taking the train must have been torturous…_

Otabek shrugged, not bothering to look up. “I told you that I broke some bones.”

Yuri rolled his eyes. “You could have _told_ me which ones, jackass.” He reached out and smacked Otabek lightly on his right shoulder.

Otabek smirked. “So, what? Do you want a list of all of my injuries?”

Yuri nodded. “You can start by telling me when you started wearing glasses.”

Otabek looked up from the phone screen. His hand went up to his face, fingers brushing the frames of his glasses. “Head injury? The doctor said that I may need them from now on… I could probably get contacts…”

“No!”

Yuri cleared his throat self-consciously. “I mean, I kind of like them. They look good on you…” Yuri’s cheeks turned bright red.

“Then I’ll keep the glasses.”

Yuri reached out towards Otabek’s face, stopping short of touching his half-healed burns. He asked tentatively, “How bad are they?”

Otabek asked, “The burns?” Yuri nodded. “The doctor didn't think that they would scar. So not that bad?”

Yuri took a deep breath, letting it out slowly through his mouth. _So, he has a broken arm and broken ribs, a head injury that fucked up his vision, and probably a nasty concussion with the headache to go with it, if I had to guess, burns, and what else? Besides his damaged hearing?_

Yuri sniffled as tears filled his eyes. _And here I was complaining of a broken ankle… I should have gone to him…_

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…”

Otabek looked up as he read those words, starting when he saw Yuri in tears. “No, Yura. It’s not your fault. I’ll be okay.”

Yuri shook his head, turning his head away from Otabek. “No, I’m sorry that I didn’t come to you. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be stronger…”

Otabek sighed softly. He took his right hand and used his fingers to gently move Yuri’s face closer. “It’s okay. I wanted to come.” _And I would do it all again, go through all of that pain, in a heartbeat._

“We’re soulmates, Yura. I would do anything for you.” _I love you. I think I have loved you for a long time…_

Yuri used the heel of his hand to scrub the tears from his eyes. “But… You shouldn’t have had to come. Just because I couldn’t…”

Otabek shook his head. “Let’s not talk about that. Not right now.” _Not this soon. Does he have any idea how close he was? How close we were to losing him? I can’t talk about it yet._

Yuri nodded. “Okay.”

There was a soft knock on the door. Yuri sniffled, rubbing away the last of his tears as he called out, “Come in.”

The door opened, revealing Yuuri balancing a tray on one hand. He walked carefully towards the bed, his eyes narrowing slightly as he noticed Yuri’s tear streaked face. “I brought you guys something to eat.”

Yuri’s stomach grumbled loudly and painfully at the smell of the food. “I’m so hungry right now, I think I could even eat those gross bean sprouts you make…”

“Luckily for you, no bean sprouts.” Yuuri took a bowl of clear broth and handed it to Yuri before setting the rest of the tray in front of Otabek.

Yuri narrowed his eyes as he studied Otabek’s plate. _He made Beka a traditional Japanese breakfast, and all I get is broth?!?_

“What the fuck? Is this all I get?”

Yuuri snapped, “Well, maybe if you had eaten something in the past week…”

Yuri’s head snapped up, his eyes wide in surprise. _He sounds angry… I don’t think I’ve ever seen him angry before… At least not towards me…_

Yuuri sighed. “I’m sorry, Yuri. But if you ate anything else, you would only be sick later.”

Yuuri added as he started towards the door, “If you can keep that down, I’ll bring you some more in a while, okay?”

Yuri mumbled, “Whatever.”

The door closed quietly as Yuuri let himself out. Yuri and Otabek ate in silence. Yuri stacked his empty bowl on Otabek’s tray before moving the tray out of the way.

“I’ve never seen Yuuri that angry before.” Yuri closed his eyes and tilted his head back against the headboard. “How the Hell do I apologize for this?”

Otabek quirked an eyebrow as he read the text. _He called him Yuuri? He never does that…_

“Yura, you don’t have to apologize.”

Yuri felt hot tears falling from his eyes as he shouted out, _“Yes, I do!”_

Yuri’s body shook with effort as he tried desperately to control his tears. “I… I nearly… I put you all through Hell… and all because…”

“Because I couldn’t handle it… I couldn’t handle losing a soulmate that I had never even met…”

Otabek looked up at Yuri. “It’s okay.”

Yuri shook his head. His voice was shaky as he tentatively said, “No, it’s not.”

Otabek took a deep breath. He pulled Yuri close to his chest, grimacing slightly as Yuri’s body collided with his. “You’re right. It’s not okay. But the worst is over, and it will _be_ okay.”

Yuri nodded and buried his face into Otabek’s shoulder. He sniffled softly as he tried to regain his composure. _Damn it, it seems like all I’ve done since he got here is cry…_

Yuri asked softly, “So what now?”

Yuri pulled away, his eyes locking with Otabek’s. “Well?”

Otabek’s eyes flicked down to his phone. “Well, what?”

“Aren’t you going to answer the question?”

“What question?”

Yuri flinched. _He didn’t hear it… Fuck, I forgot. I can’t believe that I forgot!_

“Sorry, Beka. I just wanted to know, what we’re going to do now?”

Otabek nodded as he thought. “I guess… I’ll move to Saint Petersburg.”

“Just like that?”

“Yes, just like that. I’m used to training away from home. And anyway…” Otabek paused for a moment. He moved closer, pushing Yuri’s bangs out of the way before kissing Yuri lightly on the forehead. “You’re here.”

Yuri blushed bright red, turning his eyes away slightly.

_… Wait, did he say training…?_

“Are you… still going to skate?”

Otabek closed his eyes for a moment, not bothering to look up from his phone. He sighed. “I want to try? I think, if I can find a coach that is willing to work with me, that I can do it. Even if I never get my hearing back…”

Yuri smirked slightly. “If Yakov is too stubborn, I bet Victor is stupid enough to give it a try.” _He would probably see it as some big challenge._

“You said _if_ you never get your hearing back. Do they think…?”

Otabek looked up and shrugged his right shoulder. “The doctors think there is a possibility that I _might_ get some of my hearing back. Try not to get your hopes up, Yura.”

“I don’t care if you get your hearing back or not.” _I’m just glad that you’re here, that you’re alive._

“You’re not going to say something cheesy, like ‘as long as we’re together it will be alright,’ are you?”

Yuri huffed. “Well, not now. Way to ruin the moment, asshole…”

Yuri’s words were cut short by the press of Otabek’s lips against his own. Yuri’s eyes widened. The kiss was urgent, almost frantic. Yuri closed his eyes and kissed Otabek with the same fervor. When they finally parted, both were panting for breath. Yuri leaned his forehead against Otabek’s.

“But I guess I can forgive you, this time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They are on the road to recovery, finally. And in the final chapter, they'll get to have a little bit of fluff!


	8. Epilogue

Several Months Later

A loud yell pierced the relative quiet of the apartment. “Beka! Hurry the fuck up! We’re going to be late!”

Otabek walked into the living room of the apartment, his skating bag slung over his shoulder. “I’m coming. You don’t have to yell.”

Yuri turned towards him, smirking. “If I want your deaf ass to hear me, I do.”

Otabek rolled his eyes.  _ Is he ever going to get tired of that joke? My hearing started coming back months ago. _

“We’re not going to be late.”

Otabek set down his bag. He scrubbed a hand down his face in irritation. “But have you seen my glasses today? I can’t find them anywhere…”

Yuri narrowed his eyes as he thought. “I haven’t. You check in here, I’ll go look in the bedroom. We need to fucking hurry, or we really will be late.”

Otabek asked, “Why do you care if we’re late?”

“I just don’t want to deal with one of Yakov’s ‘lectures’ today.”  _ I don’t mind so much when he yells at me, but I don’t like it when he yells at you… _

Otabek chuckled lightly as he searched around the couch. Yuri went into the bedroom and walked over to Otabek’s side.  _ If they were on the nightstand, he would have seen them. I wonder, did he knock them off again? _

Yuri knelt down on the floor. He looked under the bed, only to be met with a pair of glowing eyes. He yelped in surprise and beaned his head on the bottom of the bed. “ _ Fuck!” _

Otabek called from the other room, “Yura?”

“I’m okay.”  _ Mostly. Damn it, Potya. What are you doing under the bed? _

He sighed, rubbing the sore spot on his head. Yuri grumbled as he looked under the bed a second time. His eyes lighted on the offending pair of glasses. He grabbed the glasses and carefully stood up. As he walked out of the bedroom, he called out, “I found them!”

Otabek asked, “Where were they?”

“Under the bed. You must have knocked them off when you turned off the alarm.”

Yuri handed the glasses to Otabek.

“Thank you, Yura.” He wiped the lenses clean with the tail of his shirt before putting them on.

Yuri closed the short distance between them. He smiled slightly as he reached out and put his hand on Otabek’s hip, pulling him closer before catching Otabek’s lips in a slow, gentle kiss.

As their lips separated, Otabek hummed softly. “If you keep doing that, we really will be late.”

Yuri smiled softly. “Shut up, Beka.”

Otabek chuckled softly as he pulled Yuri into another kiss.

***

A Few Days Later

Yuri was laying on the couch. His earbuds were in, and his eyes were closed as he listened to the music. Otabek walked into the room, hair still damp from the shower. He smiled.

_ I’ll never get tired of that sight. He looks relaxed, happy even. _

Otabek walked to the couch and touched Yuri on the arm to get his attention.  _ No point in trying to talk to him with those in his ears. He won’t hear me. _

Yuri opened one eye slowly, looking up at Otabek. He pulled out one of the ear buds. “What?”

“Can I sit down?”

Yuri nodded as he sat up. Otabek sat down next to him. Yuri sighed as he rested his head on Otabek’s shoulder. “Are you as tired as I am?”

Otabek groaned. “Yeah, Yakov put us both through the ringer today. I feel like someone beat me with a stick or something.”

“The Grand Prix starts soon. Old man is probably just nervous, since we both missed months of training time.”

Otabek nodded. “Understandable.” He wrapped an arm around Yuri’s waist and pulled him closer. “Are you ready?”

Yuri nodded. “Almost. I think I finally found a piece for my exhibition.”  _ Assuming I actually win anything this year… I have a feeling that this season is going to kick my ass… _

“What is it?”

Yuri grinned as he unlocked his phone. “Gimme a minute, asshole.”

Yuri’s grin widened as he found the song on his playlist. He handed Otabek the discarded earbud. “Here. Let me play it for you.”

Otabek put the earbud in.  _ I wonder what kind of song he picked this year. He’s been known for pushing the boundaries with his exhibitions… _

Yuri held his breath as he pushed play. Otabek looked at Yuri in surprise as the music started.  _ This was the last song I mixed before the accident. The one that I never got to debut… _

“Are you sure, Yura?”

Yuri nodded. “Of course. If… well, as long as you’re okay with it…”

Otabek nodded, not trusting his voice as tears welled up in his eyes.

Yuri mumbled, “I thought I would ask Victor to help me choreograph it.”

“Hmm?”  _ I hate having to ask him to repeat himself. But sometimes, especially when there is other noise, I just can’t hear him. _

Yuri blushed slightly. “Sorry… I just said that I was going to ask Victor to help me with the routine.”

Otabek nodded.  _ That is a good idea. _

_ This music is turned up pretty loud. And if  _ **_I_ ** _ think it’s loud... _

“You listen to your music too loud. You’ll go deaf, Yura.”

Yuri bumped him with his shoulder. “That’s not funny, asshole.”

Otabek turned his head and kissed Yuri’s temple. “I wasn’t trying to be funny.”

“I know.”

Yuri turned down the volume. “Is that better? Can you still hear it okay?”

Otabek nodded. “Want to just sit like this for a while?”

Yuri nodded, his head still resting on Otabek’s shoulder. He sighed contentedly. Potya jumped up onto Yuri’s lap and settled there, purring softly as Yuri stroked her. His eyes grew heavy, his breathing slowed. Otabek smiled softly as he brushed an errant hair back behind Yuri’s ear.

_ He’s asleep. Yuri looks so content when he’s sleeping, like all of his cares are gone. _

_ I hope that, some day, he will feel that way when he is awake, too. I’ll do everything in my power to make that happen. _

_ I can’t believe that I was fortunate enough to find my soulmate. I still can hardly believe that it was Yuri, all of that time. This might not be perfect… _

_ But what relationship is? _

_ Right now, I’m content. I think Yuri is, too. And that, I think, is a good place to start. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it! This story represents months of hard work. I've been working on it (off and on) since September, and I'm happy that I finally got to share it with everyone. This idea came to me in early 2018, and the Not Victuuri Bang was the perfect excuse to get it out. I saw the idea for a "soulmate music au" and I thought "What if someone was or went deaf? What would their soulmate think?" This story went through several draft changes over the past several months, but I'm pleased with how it turned out. I hope you all enjoyed it.
> 
> Eclair did the cute chibi art in this chapter. Tell her how cute they are on her [Tumblr](https://eclair.tumblr.com/) and [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/claircolors/). [Here](https://eclair.tumblr.com/post/183804511331/hello-hello-i-made-this-chibi-otayuri-art-for-the) is a direct link to the art on her Tumblr.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that you enjoyed the story. It was a little darker than the stories that I usually write. Thank you for reading. Kudos and comments are always welcome. Or come say hi to me on [Tumblr](https://schaladresdan.tumblr.com/) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/schaladresdan).
> 
> Please tell Eclair and Cerisebio how incredible their art was in their social media pages: 
> 
> Eclair's [Tumblr](https://eclair.tumblr.com/) and [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/claircolors/)  
> Cerisebio's [Twitter](https://twitter.com/OpaleDeFeuAC) and [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/cerisebio/)


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